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Seeping Blood & Flushing Hearts

by I Divorced Life

/
1.
2.
I feel so ill But it is in a new way This pattern it could end These days will bring All the things I have been wanting My mind is still at war with itself Prey my wishes Until they die Hunt the meaning Until it fades away I want to go Find the last bit of my self My mind is still held up by itself Hunt the meaning Until it fades away Prey my wishes Until they pass away Open your eyes Let you heart be your guide I am Going to Do that Feel what you feel And the rest will find peace I know
3.
My resentment towards This wicked world This gruesome globe Is growing and tearing All hope and joy apart I will never Appreciate The magnitude Of life’s gift to me Or my possibilities If I can Cope with this evil world I’ll Never forget To say thanks For my life and all my friends Nathalie, you’re my heart I’ll Dig mine out and everything you will ever need
4.
It Splits 04:00
I know why you want it to go away I know why you wanted to go away You will never know What you are running from Until it splits you apart You will hit the ground And wonder why is Everything so cold
5.
It is a hitch That my state of mind Has worn me down People around me Are now able to glimpse Right inside my head It is no longer Just a pungent jury My thoughts aloud! When my stomach Is filled up with blaze And my pulse accelerates Then I know I will Never be able to Step inside myself again Oh how I wish that I’ll never again have to Hang from the ceiling And gaze upon myself These days bring nothing but Injurious input and qualm My hands are tied behind My back and my knees have Been pierced by thorns Is it a secret? Do I want to take off? I sure find comfort In my thoughts of flight If it wasn’t for you I’d be melting away I’d be pouring down I’d be bleeding out
6.
I lost myself In all this anger This hate is old Old and not able My body is done Tired and sore all over Not worth a nickel Or a dime I keep having pain Excruciating and Everlasting When will this be gone? I'm at the verge Of breaking
7.
Let us have a conversation Let me tell you what I think Do you want to see? The real pure me? Take your pen And write this down For I am out of sync With this world's time I just need a tool To get all better I have what's right for you It is a little white pill 90 mg's of pure bliss Mist, apathy and indifference I Don’t know what To do Now With this pill The world turns cold And I cannot think Straight or feel a thing You don't know what life is Until you've lost it Take your pills And let them burn For I am done with Sedatives and doctors Once I saw the light I wouldn't go back to that No…
8.
I am made of everything You did to me Every nasty comment Every hurtful look Each and every blow You made my world collapse I am made of everything You said to me Nothing is forgotten It all stays with me Each and every day Whenever I feel small Whenever I feel weak Whenever I feel evil Whenever I feel glum
9.
Everyday I do my best to keep a humble attitude I’m grateful for the bliss of life and everything surrounding me but When their eyes meet mine I can feel That I am in the way, I can’t speak, I can’t think I am not entitled to my opinion My very presence makes them feel huge Too much sensitivity on my part makes them think That I’m small and do not Make a difference, let me tell you There is a significant difference And a void between us That will me allow me to Fly off While being on fire Fly off While screaming and bleeding Cheer me as I fall Pad me on the back Put my glasses on And look at black spots When we all go down Remember this offer I could hold your eyes And make them shine again
10.
All that I wish for Is that the world says “stop” It will scream and howl Until we are gone We have left a mark That’s for sure All I desire Is that we are wiped away From the face of the earth An ignorant race That has had too much time Time to spoil and wreck Time to kill and hate Time to not realize the meaning Of our own existence Our lives will perish In the most beautiful Blaze, it is the fire to end this chapter And start from scratch Without us My soul will leave My aching Body And be absorbed Into the water Into the ice Into the dew of the dawn Into the fog Into the mist Into the flames Now it all makes sense
11.
One thing I just can't stand Is watching you suffering I would like to inflict All your pain onto myself Wouldn't I just love to Force your hurt to eat itself? From the bottom to the top I will make the illness die When your skin is on fire When your lungs are worse When your throat retracts I will take it all When your eyes are blinded When your tongue swell up When your chest collapse I will take it all See, there are days when I don’t feel Just how much it hurts Let me know then So I can shape up ‘Cause when I look at your eyes Sometimes I see fear I will not allow it To break you in half These days will somehow be different When I get a grip Your pain will falter, But slowly
12.
Aid Me 04:52
It feels just like Everyone is dead My efforts: wasted My talent: fading Please aid my escape And help me far away from This useless dark hole That is trying to devour Everything I like about me And all my wishes Please give me strength To flee and never look back Aid me But never care for me Soothe me But never choose me Just go Never Return to this void Trust broke years ago Simple living Small thoughts They will wreck my gift They will abuse my trust Well now I'll be on My way out of here For now
13.
Innocence 05:06
One day I will meet you Feel the need to flee from All the things I must say Hurt you did and will do When that day arrives I will Not fly off In a sense You have done me A favor I’ll hate you forever One could say That it takes two But I know You’re all alone You have left me fearing Everybody’s motives All the tender sweet words Now invokes my anger I no longer feel calm here I’m all alone You know if I had some sense You could never have Been such a spoiled princess And my mind would be fine Just to sum up happenings You succeeded in Manipulating me every Way you could think off I can feel that I will never Be done scolding you I think it’s a fair price for Crippling my thoughts If you ever come across some Sense and feel like Apologizing save it You’re dead to me
14.
It is here I’ve found my heart Charred and cold Just like I wanted it Now I will just Put it back into My chest, breathe And then walk away This is here Mirror; my face! Never look at it Unless it calls Out to you
15.
This I haven't thought of So dumb Bliss in its most true form Always This is god It is nothing Worth to me This is hell Getting warmer True, I didn't always Treat myself to what was Best and now I will Take what I Own (what?) Ripping everyone to Pieces, debris, shreds and Dust, I must make it up to me (What?) My savior She will call the shots This breath of life will be my first Away is my pain Away not forgotten This grace is Oh so evident You watch me and Reach out your arms This day is my last This day keeps on shining In your eyes I may seem just fine But lurking Right beneath is fear Of doing you wrong Of losing my last hope The crows will Gather around me Their beaks will SCREAM the awful truth "You'll have to believe" "You'll live to see wonders"
16.
Countless (callous) Instances of pain Unrelenting judgments Made by gloating egos Once enough Time has passed They will Burst right into the most Green and beautiful flames There is room enough For me Even though I don’t Want to smell your hate Oh I wish you harm Again Anything to prevent you From gazing upon me Every time you project Your pitiful self Unto me you will trip And fall right into a Vast abyss All your Inner demons Will flaunt all their evil Show you the Only truth This is the part Where I tell you Just to think of The repercussions This is a segment Of warning You will fail I will make sure This is segment of warning…
17.
In this way we erupt Out of grey and death We will float in the sky Like a couple of ghosts We are divorced From a life of gloom We are divorced From the emptiness You are magical The sky cracks open Seeping blood Flushing hearts Equine silhouettes rushing Off to much better places The sky erupts Bursting out tears Joyfully laughing Horses in the night We can almost touch them Make them all our friends Ride off into darkness Make our way to the end
18.
Write 03:57
Every time I sit down To write all these words I never get closer To the answers I seek Waste of breath If this just goes on then I won’t be around Much longer This is my call to Tie my guts around my Neck and just try out my Wings See if I can fly There is one way It is all I can say Let me go I feel so tired and Worn out I’m out of my mind Always this Confusion as to what I’ll do
19.
...This is the end Never again will you have to relive How many times have you heard Your dreams crash down on the ground? This is the place Where you don't have to fear How many times have you smelt The stench of hate right below? This is the time It is now and not then How many times have you felt The doubt creep into your heart? This is confirmation Of everything you knew from the get-go How many times have you said Her words did not knock you out? Her words did nothing! This is your goal You proved her wrong

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Splish splash splushhh.

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released September 18, 2010

All songs written, performed and produced by I Divorced Life

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I Divorced Life Hamburg, Germany

Experimental sound artist based in Hamburg, Germany

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